My mom has been here for two days, now, and it has been so nice to have her here with me. Upon her arrival, I could sense the excitement that radiated from both of us, and the excitement grew and grew as she was introduced to more and more that I had been experiencing. I took her to S.21 and The Killing Fields, where, as I described in previous blogs, action was taken in regards to the Khmer Rouge. She was affected similarly to me; it is a truly upsetting experience.
Today however, her third day, has proved most interesting. We thought that we would take an excursion to the coast, about 5 hours away. We found what seemed to be a reliable company that would be able to guide us along the way, even stopping at tour hot spots. We stopped at a mountain about two hours away from Phnom Penh, and climbed high to an old Buddhist temple that had been destroyed by war bombs. The history of the temple is incredible, but it was hard to discern between myth and reality. My mom and I enjoyed standing in the same spot the old King would have stood, looking over at the valley below, and the river where he would have watched boat races. A long, stone staircase, now crumbling, stretched its long arm down the mountain and into the valley, disappearing into separating roads. As we climbed down the mountain with our guide, I could sense that both my mom and I, were getting an uneasy feeling. I don’t think there was a definite reason why we were both suddenly tensing...we just felt uneasy and no peace. After leaving the temple and driving another hour away from Phnom Penh, we stopped for lunch. At this point the balance due for the trip got confusing and sketchy. The communications we had made with the company previously to setting out on the journey were seemingly misunderstood, and now we were asked to pay cash for a trip that we thought we had already paid for, and now, that we were entirely unsure about completing. We left lunch, after a long discussion with our guides about the destination, towards the coast. Ten minutes into the drive, however, we decided that our spirits both felt very heavy about the trip. We told the driver that I am very tired, which I am, and that we think it best if we made our way BACK to Phnom Penh.
I write this in the back of the car, silently, with my ipod in ear. I’m listening to my favorite worship music, and finally, for the first time today, I am feeling peace.
I have no idea why my mother and I, both, felt uneasy. I have no idea why our spirits were so heavy. Perhaps it was the Holy Spirit. Perhaps we were not destined to be in Kep, the coastal city tonight for reasons we will never know. And perhaps there is no reason at all, no explanation at all. All I know is that I thank God for directing us on a path where, now, I feel peaceful and safe. I am also glad that my mom is here with me.
A weird day! Hard to explain the feeling thoroughly. I would say there is something we can all learn from this, though. Sometimes in life, stuff happens; we get stuck, or uncomfortable, and we don’t know why. We just have to rely on God turning us back around and helping us find peace. He does bring peace that surpasses all understanding, safety, and joy.
With my spirits lifted, and my mom by my side, I am ready to take on another day….No matter how weird. : )
And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you (John 14:16-17).
ReplyDeleteLove you girl...I have not stopped praying for you :) So excited your Mom and Dad have been there to share in some of the experiences - what an honor!
Thank you again for opening up your heart, sharing your thoughts and taking the time to let us be a part of your journey!
Gina Mom <3